Teacher – Student, Student- Teacher

This was originally posted on my private blog which is in a repository for ideas still processing. Some I cross-post after revisions, others I have not. Recently, I revisited some of these and wondered why I’ve kept them so protected. Perhaps it’s time to be more courageous and open myself to being more real. So, here goes – episode 1. 

So I recently gave my students the following options for a silhouettes thinkscause/effect writing assignment, all 17 of which are currently waiting in my inbox for feedback to enable draft 2…ugh. Nevertheless, it was a bit of a rough week as I’ve been trying to raise myself out of a type of mental and emotional quicksand and two of the three prompts seemed particularly apropos for me to attempt to write myself. I often catch myself wondering if I could do what I’m asking my students to do in my second language let alone in my first language. So, here’s a chance to attempt it in my first language, and hopefully do some of my own ‘processing’ along the way. I’ll choose prompt #3 for now. Bear with the “academic essay” tone.

1) What are some ways to improve your mood? In other words – what can you do to make yourself happy when you’re feeling sad or stressed out?

2) What effect(s) does technology, such as cell phones and TV, have on family relationships?

3) How do your values affect how you spend your money or time?  (This question has two parts – 1: What are your values, and 2: How can we see these values in your actions and spending habits?)

values quote

Roy Disney’s quote above serves as a great reminder for us to think about what we care about and where we want to go especially when we’re caught in the place of needing to make decisions. However, for someone having trouble delineating their values, it may be possible to uncover the truth of what you value by looking at how you spend your time and or money in daily living. Analyzing your time and money expenditures can be a valuable tool to help you understand what you care about and to recognize any disparities between what those things are and what you want them to be.

I have a hard time answering the question “what do you want for…(insert appropriate holiday here).”  This has become especially true the older I get. I’ve become so used to going out and getting what I want when I need it, that often I don’t have an answer to give. In the past few years however, my default answer has become “a gift card to REI” or “a Groupon for a new experience or new class like aerial dance or salsa lessons” and so on. As a Christmas gift to myself last year (only because I felt bad asking my family for it due to price) I bought a 1-year unlimited membership to a dance/martial arts workout studio that I’d been attending for the ten months prior. Even if I only make it to class twice a week, the experience more than pays for itself. I know that attending class gives me more energy, self-confidence, and endorphins to lift my mood. If I miss class for too long, I can tell that my quality of life suffers. 
Challenging the rock   Similarly, my sister and I have been taking turns buying punch cards to the local rock climbing gym near her house. Not only does it provide us with a chance to hang out and engage in a mutually enjoyable activity, but after two or three hours of solid climbing we both are left with the deep satisfaction that comes from accomplishing and surmounting an extreme physical challenge.  Looking back at these gift requests and monetary expenditures leads me to believe that one of my important values is either “healthy living” or “challenging my body.” To some degree, the two very well might be sides of the same coin. Furthermore,  the experience of watching my husband go from super-active Air Force Pilot to brain cancer victim who lost all physical capability was one of (if not THE) most painful experience in my life. Consequently, my subconscious brain has internalized the value of health and therefore seeks out any possible way to enjoy, preserve, and take advantage of the gift of health while I have it.

Street art Maria - mariposa y hummingbird

Bs As street art courtesy @mariacolussa

As a university level teacher, I am blessed with various breaks throughout the school year; additionally, my position allows for some paid personal time as well as an additional amount of professional development time.  A few years ago, I used said time off to visit South America twice! Likewise, in 2013, I used my long break between Fall and Winter Quarters to spend 3  1/2 weeks in Kenya, Africa. Clearly from these examples, I can determine that travel is an extremely important value in my life. However, travel seems more like an outward manifestation of some other value, or multiple values as opposed to the value itself. On this most recent trip which was part professional development, part new culture exploration, I found myself asking what it was that prompted me to spend so much time and money traveling – even in an extremely condensed time-frame. DSCN1453In my travels I’ve learned that at least part of what I enjoy the most is getting to see how people live in different contexts. I love a day when I can go to the market or walk through the streets shoulder to shoulder with myriad others, extranjeros or nativos, just being a part of humanity.  Similarly, I love seeing different visions of beauty. On my most recent trip, I discovered that street art is almost a national treasure, at least in the city of Buenos Aires. Therefore, I spent a good portion of my last day photographing various examples of BsAs street art. Finally, I love learning about different world perspectives, different views of history, different common understandings that make up culture. So perhaps a way of naming this value would be “building bridges” or “open-mindedness” or possibly “trans-border cosmopolitanism” although that last is a bit of a mouthful. 

To  be sure, I spend money on other things too. I don’t spend a lot of money buying stuff, but sometimes I will. For example, I spend money on taking classes or textbooks. I spend money on leisure books or e-books.  Reading, writing, encountering new perspectives, and engaging mentally/thinking critically are definitely values of mine. When I first moved, I spent time and money on my adorable little condo. I like to have a welcoming and cozy-simple home. True, I ought to share it more and wish I did, so I’m not the only one appreciating it, but I’m happy to entertain sporadically. Similarly, I often spend time and money going to lunch or meeting up with friends – time and money that I wouldn’t want back for anything! These areas of expenditure demonstrate that I value “always learning” and “making connections.”  Perhaps these values deserve even more time and attention. After all, without connection, and without broadening our outlook – what’s the meaning of living?

Ultimately, it is up to each of us individually to determine what  is worthy of our time and attention, let alone our financial resources. If something is important to you, if something brightens life and makes it more “colorful” as my students are fond of saying, then by all means, the expenditures are well deserved. However, if you’re finding that Rich - values image quote  most of your time and money is going to endeavors that weaken your spirit, hinder connection, or drag you down, then perhaps those would be expenditures to cut out. Either way, spending a few moments taking stock has the potential to free us to be the truest and most satisfied versions of our selves. It’s worth the sacrifice of time.


Straighten up and fly right…


On lessons learned late…

Ever have one of those moments when you realize you were super slow on the uptake? I have had ever so many of them. It’s like I have all these awesome teachers and life lessons from mentors/leaders/friends/etc, and yet somehow the message never sinks in until I’ve royally screwed something up. This is a pattern I have. It’s been going on for years.  Of course, the first time I really became aware of it was a shock to me and came from my mother.

I was in Nav School, and I think I’d had my first (or only?) failed check ride. I don’t remember exactly, but I’m pretty sure it came during the radar phase of training, phase three. I was on the phone talking to my mom about it, hoping she’d cheer me up and instead, these words came out.

“You can’t just slide by in this like you did in college. You’ll fail. This is real life here.”

Wait, what? How could she say something like that? What was wrong with my college career? I’d been super on top of things my first two years. Perhaps even in over my head a bit what with crew, ROTC, band and choir, a work-study job, and an overload nearly every quarter. What did she mean slip by? I worked my tail off – staying up to finish projects till midnight then getting up at 4am and hitting the river for 3 hours, coming back, going to work, then class, then homework, right up until midnight the next night. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Of course, once I knew my ROTC place was secure, had received my scholarship and stipend, and then determined that I’d get an aircrew assignment after I graduated; I’ll admit, I did slack. Too mudiploma-pixabaych. I loved and respected my primary professors and thoroughly enjoyed the subject matter of my major and minor courses, and yet, they were easy for me. So, while I worked hard-ish on my few remaining core courses, I’ll admit, I took advantage of the ease of the Spanish and communications courses, and of my professors’ good faith based on my earlier performance in their courses. Still, my mother shouldn’t have known any of that, I’d never given her details.

My second “lesson learned late” moment came near the end of my Air Force career. I chose to separate honorably. I’d served my time, and opted out of an assignment that was just a bit too late in coming. Of course, my aha moment came a little bit before this, maybe 6 months to a year earlier.

I had somehow ended up on the fast track to a good Air Force career. I didn’t consciously intend to end up there, but I had taken my mother’s warning to heart and repackaged it as “straighten up and fly right.” So, as I had never been one to back down from a challenge that was handed to me, and  was a people pleaser who in some ways lived to serve, I did well in the military. However,  I was probably one who over-volunteered and had a pattern of doing so.

On the second day of field training (the officer’s version of basic), I found myself stepping up to take over the position of Flight Physical Training Officer when the cadet who was intended for it injured his back and had to withdraw from training. Our Officer in Charge (OIC) called us all together and told us what had happened and then asked for a volunteer to take over. As you may imagine, crickets. He asked again, and then again, and finally, I rolled my eyes and said I would do it. I was not cut out for it truly, and I think my OIC knew this, but when he asked if I could handle it, strong rower that I was, I said I could. I was fit, sure, but didn’t really know how to train others. He gave me the benefit of the doubt and the group PTO who happened to be assigned to our flight helped me out a lot. A week or two in though, another cadet emerged as far better prepared for the job and he took over while I moved on to something else.

Later, after arriving at my second permanent base after flight training, I was moved quite quickly from just being one of the squadron navigators to flight commander (CC) for 11 of the guys. I happened to be one of the more senior navs in the squadron, so while it volunteers-pixabaycaught me by surprise, it wasn’t all that unexpected. My mentor in this case gave me the bare minimums of a briefing on what was required – showed me how to use the computer software needed to manage the paperwork that went along with the position, imparted his impressions of my guys and then took off for another duty title. I lasted a few months and did fine from my superiors’ perspective, but when a position for a squadron executive officer opened up I asked for volunteers from my guys as instructed. When none appeared, I again stepped up to the plate martyr-like and took what I knew was a not-very-desirable-job from the flyer’s perspective.

Similarly, after the squadron drawdown due to BRAC was underway, my boss came to me and asked if I wanted to be the Wing Air Force Assistance Fundraiser Officer. I absolutely did not, but again, my eager to please and live-to-serve attitude kicked in and I accepted. It was just as tough as I’d imagined, but I managed to do well enough to later be offered a position at the group level doing a lot of the same things I’d been doing as a squadron exec. Again, I worked hard, but I got so caught up in the details that I was taken aback a year later when my boss came to me and said he was bringing up another airman from my squadron because he wanted to be able to mentor someone who intended to stay in.

That comment finally made it click. I’d been doing all the things a good follower should do, and somehow performed well enough in the leadership positions I was given to please those above me. But, the heart of the positions didn’t reveal itself to me until that conversation. As a leader, it wasn’t really my job to be volunteering for all the “un-wanted” jobs. Instead, I should have been getting to know my own people and grooming them for or sometimes pushing them into positions that while not necessarily flyer-desirable would be good for their growth, fit them, and benefit their career. Leadership isn’t just about being able to “straighten up and fly right,” it’s about taking time to mentor, to learn about, and then to encourage in the right direction.  I’d learned all about leadership during ROTC in college and field training, yet somehow, I didn’t truly comprehend those lessons until it was almost after the fact.20160709_120136

More recently, I recognized a missed lesson when I started a creative writing course after grad school. I was a media communications major in college with a focus on video production. As mentioned, I thoroughly enjoyed the material we covered in classes. It was very practical, hands-on, and fun. I especially loved being behind the camera – framing, calling shots live, and editing after the fact. My final project for video production was to make a short film. The idea (I now realize) was to apply everything we’d learned over our four years from story-boarding to screen-writing to selecting actors, directing production, filming, and then finally editing in post-process.

I decided to do a music video to one of my favorite songs, Be Still by the Newsboys. I took a video camera with me on a trip to our family farm in Nebraska and filmed some scenes of my sister and cousin in the snow. I think I forgot the story-board part, or did it after the fact. At any rate, I got hung up mostly on the post-production and editing part. This was in the earlier days of AVID’s video editing, long before iMovie and Movie Maker had become ubiquitous. I was, true-to-form, working late the night before it was due – so late that Campus Safety kicked me out of the editing lab and sent me home. I thought I’d recorded my tightly edited work well, but didn’t have time to check it. I submitted it the next day, and was chagrined to get the feedback from my prof that it was a blank tape. I’d saved my work on the hard drive of the computer as well, but the day it was due, the football team came in and deleted everything, so they’d have space to edit their end-of-season video. My prof gave me grace, I’d always done pretty good work for him in the past, and assigned me a passing grade, which looking back I may not have fully deserved despite the hours of work.

dsc_8445My first creative writing conference in 2014 taught me that my problem then as now has always been plot. I’m good, or at least decent, at capturing scenes or moments, in writing as well as in film. Blending those moments into something more coherent that demonstrates character growth and entrances the reader or viewer however?  Well, that’s not my strong suit. Sure, I can have a vague idea of where I want my characters to get to in the end – sometimes, but getting them there…um, not so much. It’s not my professors’ fault, this lack of mine. My media prof did everything right. I remember my notes, impressions, and respect for him and his work. And, while I was enrolled in his courses I’m sure that I was really trying to apply those principles. I think though that here too, I got bogged down in the details and lost the big picture.

I just sent an extremely rough and incomplete first draft to a dear writing friend of mine and as I clicked send, I realized that even though I’ve now “learned” this lesson about plot, it’s extremely hard to put into practice. Although I don’t think I’ve screwed up beyond repair yet, I’ll admit it is disheartening. But, contrary to the lessons learned post-college and post-AF; I’m not post-leading, post-learning, post-writing. I’m just beginning these really. So, it’s time to “straighten up and fly right” once again and keep working to really implement these going forward. Thanks to all the teachers, mentors, and friends – writing and otherwise, who keep imparting lessons as we walk through life. As my wise mother often says, “please (continue to) be patient with me, God isn’t finished with me yet.”

Ensenar y aprender al mismo tiempo? Estas loca!!

Un perrito bien cansado…asi como yo

La semana pasada fue midterms por mi trabajo. Por eso, pase muchas horas durante del fin de semana corregiendo papeles, examenes, proyectos, videos, blogs, etc. Fue bien dificil, y hoy trate de hacer mi tarea de espanol. Es dificil dar cien porcentage cuando ya he dado 110 porcentage a mi trabajo! No se como es posible por mis estudiantes quienes trabajan y estudian al mismo tiempo. Es increible!
Pues, ahora tengo que ir, necesito programar mis clases manana, tengo muchisimo sueno tambien. Por eso, me voy. Perdon, escribire mas adelante… Adios…


Spanish Refresher Course – Dia 1 – Este es dificil!

Hola!  Bueno, ahora solamente he completado dia 1 de la “Spanish Refresher course” y ya es un poco dificil!  Cuando estaba hiciendo mi tarea, use una diccionario espanol-ingles.  Trate a usar una diccionario espanol-espanol, pero muchas de las palabras me olvidaron. Ay!

Tambien tuvimos grabar un video por la instructora lo cual incluyo algunos de  los pronombres relativos (que, quien, lo que, las cuales, etc). Asi, como mis estudiantes, escribi mi respuesta en Espanol antes, y despues la lei por el video!! Fue bien mas dificil que recorde.  Al mismo tiempo, la clase me introducio al cantante Manu Chao, quien canta la cancion Clandestino. Esta cancion me gusta y tratare encontrar mas de la musica de Manu Chao en el futuro.

Bueno. Ahorita tengo que ir porque tengo que ensenar clases manana.  Creyo que esta experiencia me causa estaba de acuerdo con mis estudiantes de veras. Aunque es dificil, tambien es divertido. Me gusta aprender Espanol otra vez. Hasta luego!
Aqui es la “link” al video Clandestino.



Learn By Step – Online Spanish Refresher Course

Image In the interest of reminding myself of what learning a language is really like as well as out of curiosity regarding how other teachers teach languages, especially online, I decided to enroll in CU Boulder’s ALTEC Spanish Refresher Course.  Since I am asking my students to blog for one of my classes, I thought perhaps I should try blogging more regularly throughout this experience as well. So, for the next three weeks, I will try  to post at least 1x per week about the learning experience.  Sometimes I will add helpful links and perhaps not much else. Other times (often I hope) I will try to blog in Spanish. So for those of you who may read Spanish, please pardon the mistakes, or even better – correct them in comments so I can learn!  Thanks!

First Link to post:

http://www.elmundo.es/diccionarios/  Spanish-Spanish dictionary

I make my students use English-English so I think it’s only fair that I try Spanish-Spanish. 🙂  Hasta Luego!